Well, todays the day we are all sitting down and going to try to work out a compromise. I am tired of the sister bashing. OH YEA! Also tired of different rules for different kids. Causing hate & discontent and resentment and I am over it! So... I told the girls to each come up with 10 rules and punishments and that JT and I will combine and polish the list and combine and post all the rules! Should be interesting, usually the kids come up with worse punishment than we do! LOL! I will keep you posted and will post the rules and punishments when we compile the list.
Pray for me and Jamie to have the wisdom to combine this list and the knowledge to stay strong and enforce it!
Leanne
I will be praying for your sanity and wisdom!!!LOL
ReplyDeleteThis week has been pretty calm my oldest will be turning 18 this week and you know she has changed so much. My prayer is that my 13 year old will mature as she did. Lord know she is drama from the word go she get into more of this fb drama and it really does not make any since to me. My youngest is 12 and is not about the drama at all, but you know usually that changes as they get into jr high and high school my prayer is that they learn from their oldest sister's drama and that God continues to give me the wisdom to handle the issues with dignity. Sometime I just want to go off and act like a child myself, but we are all human!!!
I feel your pain. I would love to just beat them with anything I can get my hands on! Our drama started in 6th grade for both of our youngest girls... And I wouldn't be calm w/my oldest turning 18, I dont want my oldest to turn 16! :)
DeleteHoney I feel for you!!! Been there, delt with those issues before..especially with the different rules for different kids. Wish I could say it just magically gets better...but I'm afraid it might get worse before getting better... at least in our situation it did. My hubby and I actually divorced for 6 months after being married for a year! The stress of trying to blend a family was taking a big toll on our lives and my health.
ReplyDeleteShort History: We worked together in the same department while dating. Then I got promoted. We then got married. We still worked in the same building so we saw quite a bit of each other throughout the day. It was fun at first, we could eat lunch together and it was kind of cool to have your hubby just working basically less than 50 ft away from you. But after marriage and trying to blend our family the stress of home rolled over into stress at work. It got to where we would hardly talk to each other at work unless it was work related.
And... after our divorce I started to lose weight. After my first divorce I lost a bit of weight then and I tossed it up as a good thing...lol! But this time the weight loss was accompanied by terrible pains that seemed at the time to move all around my abdomen. I figured it was stress from the relationship and a divorce that happened not due to lack of love but lack of stamina to try to make it work. Anywho to make a long story short.. we remarried after a 6 month split...and I had dropped from 138 lbs to about 118. But the abdominal pains didn't stop! It took nearly another 9 months or so for doctors to figure out I had developed Crohn's disease. Crohn's is an inflammatory bowel disease also known as an autoimmune disease (when your body attacks itself). No one knows what causes Crohn's but stress makes it worse and has been known to cause it to appear. I believe all the stress of our 1st year of marriage, blending kids and the divorce etc took a toll on my body. I ended up having two bowel resections within a week because the ileum (the small bowel where it connects to your large bowel) was 70% shut/swollen and meds did not make it better.
Less than 6 months after my surgery and the very month I was about to get back on the pill I found out I was pregnant. We were actually arguing the day I took my prego test...lol! Even though we had remarried and even after my surgery etc...we still seemed to fuss about the same stuff. To be honest I didn't think we would really stay together for the happily ever after at that time.
But we had a beautiful daughter, Hollie who I think God sent to save us. When she was about 8-9 months old his daughter turned 14 that year and decided with the enticing of her mother to move back in with her. I hate to say it but life for us got much better. By this time both of hubby's kids were living back with their mother. And, we just had my son and our new baby.
Years have passed and hubby's relationship with his kids have been up and down during these past few years. But as it stands now his son is really close to us again, is married with a baby of his own that we both adore! However his daughter now 24 who we thought was turning a new leaf has just in the last year hurt my hubby in a way that I don't think he'll ever get over. I won't go into details here but since about October he hasn't spoken to her.
So, I guess my wise words for you would be build a strong foundation as a couple, stand by each other always, compromise when needed, and respect each other's way of parenting but don't let it drive a wedge between your marriage. One day the kids will be grown and it will only be the two of you left and you'll wonder how you made it all those years.
It sounds like you two are on the right track with involving the kids to help make a solution. Can't wait to hear how it all pans out. It's a lot of work I know, and a lot to deal with too, but hang in there... ((hugs))
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ReplyDeleteI love your words to the wise Donna, thanks and will keep them to heart, may even write them down. Nice to know that I have a friend who has been there and survivied! LOL.. I will pray for your hubby's and his daughter's relationship, I know that is a tough one. Thank you so much for helping me thru this! Love to all, Leanne
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